At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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