totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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