I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
