My pussy is not your playground.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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