Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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