The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.