I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.