you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment