I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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be right there i have to get my cape
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?