apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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