Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
