I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do vagina's smell?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
