Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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