I think i peed on brittanys purse
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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