Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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