I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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