it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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