its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
