Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
