"it" just moved
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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