it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
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Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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