If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am available for nakedness
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
