What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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