Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
