I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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