He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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