It's like God shit irony all over that family
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
