Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize