You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
