Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
