It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
