i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
