Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize