I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
