just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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