its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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