Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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