Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
