I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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