Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude i'm inner monologue high
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
