Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
