I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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