I wish I only lived at night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
