Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
