I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
