ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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