i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
