I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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