Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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