So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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