So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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