Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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