I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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