just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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