I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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