i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
