Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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