guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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