This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
