After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
